Interviewer: What made you want to become an editor?
Candidate: Well, to cut a long story short.
I Got Fired From My Job As A Taxi Driver.
Turns Out My Customers Didn't Like It,
When I Tried To Go The Extra Mile!.
I give everyone in my phone a different celebrity name so if someone sees my phone ring they think it's Shah Rukh or Salman Khan calling!.
Brain cells, hair cells and skin cells - they all die constantly, but these fat cells seem to have an eternal life!.
There are only three things that always tell the truth!
1. Young Children.
2. Drunks.
3. Yoga Pants.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise.
The librarian says, "Sure, what Volume would you like?".
It's funny how people quickly lose trust when searching for a TV remote.
"Are you sitting on the remote?"...
No...
"Get up"!.
I've just broken up with my gym.
We were just not working out!.
If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them as hard as possible at the people making your life difficult!.
Maybe School isn't meant to teach you anything but to get you used to waking up and going to a boring job every day!.
My new girlfriend works at the zoo.
I think she's a keeper!
My girlfriend left me because she says I only think about football.
I'm gutted, we'd been together for nearly three seasons!.
I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet.
It reminds me why there's no money in there!.
Pro Tip for Valentine's Day:
If she is single doesn't mean she is available;
And if he is committed doesn't mean he is unavailable!.
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane!
Things that can change a woman's mood:
1. Let's dine out.
2. 50% Discount.
3. Let's go for a vacation.
Never stop pushing yourself.
Some say 8 hrs of sleep is enough.
Why stop there?
Why not 9? 10?
Strive for greatness!
Q: What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A: A hippo is very heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter!.
Teacher: You've ₹ 4,000 but your best friend needs ₹ 2,000 and your girlfriend needs ₹ 1,000. How much money you've left now?
Sindhi Boy: ₹ 4,000 and 2 unread messages!.
Eating fast food alone feels unhealthier than eating fast food with friends.
.
So whenever you go out to eat, don't forget to call me!.
