What Mom said, "Stop doing that."
What kids heard, "Do the thing more! And louder! Break things while you're at it!."
It's been 6 years since my job interview.
I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else!.
Finally, mystery solved for Apple logo...
.
It was delivered by Zomato!.
I have a Chinese friend named Fang. At an official function, we were having snacks.
I asked him, "Fang, do you ever get fed up of people saying that all Chinese look the same?"
He replied, "Fang has gone to the washroom. I am his wife"!
I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?".
What is worse than relatives?
Whatsapp family group!😝
I'm making a fruit salad and the recipe says 'Pineapples - Five cubed'.
Now, where on earth am I going to get 125 pineapples?.
A man woke up in hospital after an accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replied, "I know you can't because I've cut off your arms!"
Just realized... These three things are yet to be achieved:
1. To be as handsome and intelligent as my mother thought I was.
2. To have as much money as my children think I have.
3. To have as many girlfriends as my wife thinks I have.
What's life?
Weekdays: MS Excel.
Weekends: Surf Excel.
I got asked today "Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?"
I said, "Obviously, a lift engineer"!.
If you ever feel alone, turn the lights off and watch a horror movie, after that you will always feel that someone is standing behind you!.
Me: SIRI, can you check my bank balance and tell me which Apple product I can afford?.
SIRI: Apple Juice.
I was on Facebook to connect with my friends.
I was on Twitter to connect with unknown people.
I was on Blogger to express my ideas.
My Boss saw me using all this in office and hence,
Now, I am on LinkedIn to find a new job!.
I don't why my friend has blocked me.!!
On my birthday, he messaged me, "HBD HBD HBD".
So, on his anniversary, I messaged him, "HA HA HA"!
Foreigner: What is the right time to cross the road in India?
Indian: The right time to cross a road in India is not when a signal turns red. It's when enough people are sick of waiting and just cross together in a group!.
Take care of your spellings while writing English:
A family vacation with in-laws to the beaches of Bay of Bengal resulted in a divorce due to a Facebook picture post by the husband of his wife and mother-in-law with the caption...!
Bitches of Bay of Bengal!
How does an electrical engineer propose his girlfriend?.
I'm resistance and you are an electric current. We will definitely have a spark!.
I just went into my local shop & asked for a bottle of water...
The shop keeper said, "still water?"
"Yeah, I haven't changed my mind," I replied.
My boss is always in his character.
A female colleague posted the picture of her newly born kid and boss commented,
"I was expecting a better output"!.
