Always counting to ten after someone pisses you off. It gives you time to think of somewhere to bury him!.
When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only pain for others. It's the same when you are stupid!.
Sometimes you just want to throw fertilizer at people so they grow up!.
If you can go a couple weeks without talking to me, go a couple more. I'm good!.
Ever look at someone and think, "Why has no one hit him with a shovel yet?"
If You Liked My Profile,
Raise Up Ur Hands.
If Not, Raise Your Standard.
Actually No,
My Status Wasn't Aimed At You,
But Hey,
If The Shoe Fits,
Feel Free To Wear It.
Most people have 5 senses.
But you are blessed with 6 senses.
And that extra sense is
.
NON-SENSE!
I Like You.
People Say I've No Taste,
But I Like You.
If You Are Shameless,
You Would Do As You Wish.
You know that nice tingly feeling you get when you're falling for someone...
That's common sense leaving your body!
There are naturally attractive people
and then there are people like you
who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting!
Some people walked out of my life and made it better.
Others I kicked out and made it freaking fantastic!
Sometimes I tell people I'm an introvert just so they don't expect me to talk to them again!
Sorry if I didn't reply to your text,
I wasn't able to find a response
that would keep you from sending another!
I would like to apologize to anyone
I have not offended.
Please be patient.
I will get to you shortly!
For all of you who gossip about me:
Thanks for making me the center of your world!
Disease: Idiotitis
Causes the brain to shut down, and the mouth to keep talking, Thousands affected. Might be contagious.
Best defense: Slap and run!
A camel, a cow and a donkey were discussing 'who is best'?
Cow: I give milk.
Camel: I move heavy loads.
Donkey: ...
What are you waiting for,
say something about yourself!
I never forget a face,
but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception!
