I never get in trouble with my wife. Because I never do anything until she asks me to do it!.
When a man steals your wife let him keep her because revenge is a dish best served frigid!.
Husband was staring at a hoarding for a long time.
The hoarding was of a beautiful girl with a mixer grinder.
Wife taps his arms gently and said, "Let's go home. The exchange offer is only on the mixer grinder!"
A controversial and debatable question:
Today if Raavan took your wife away, would you still consider him evil?.
Wife: Why did you hire a bunch of writers to remodel our kitchen?
Husband: They said they were prose!.
I always take a keen interest in what my wife makes for dinner in case I have to explain it to the doctor!.
My wife got offended when I told her, she is my strength. She asked me if it means, other women are my weaknesses!.
After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host's party, the wife looks at him and says, "Aren't you embarrassed to keep going back for more?"
Husband says, "Nope. I keep telling them it's for you!".
Husband takes his wife to a disco, there's a man on the dance floor, moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works.
Wife turns to her husband & sighs "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him & I said no!"
Husband says "It looks like he's still out celebrating!".
The symptoms of EBOLA are:
Sweating, weakness, diarrhea and stomach pain.
A kind of feeling that a husband gets when he sees his wife going through his phone!.
I read a book on marriage and it said, "You should treat your wife as you treated her on your 1st date".
So I took her to dinner at a restaurant and then I dropped her at her parents' house!.
Husband came home from the pub 4 hours late.
Wife: Where the hell have you been?
Husband: I've been playing poker with some blokes.
Wife: Playing poker? Well, you can pack your bags and go!
Husband: So can you, this isn't our house anymore!.
Survey & Analysis says:
If you both are comfortable at the same fan speed or air conditioning temperature, you are probably not a married couple!
A sound advice from the wife is equal to 99% sound and 1% advice!.
When a married man says- "I'll think about it.
What he really means that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet!.
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I gave her some superglue instead.
Her lips are looking quite beautiful but she's not talking to me!.
When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail. It heals me spiritually!.
5 missed calls from the husband, and the wife thinks,
"What could have happened?"
5 missed calls from wife, and husband thinks,
"What is going to happen?"
Husband: New age home appliances are equipped with Wi-Fi.
Wife: Why does a fridge need Wi-Fi?
Husband: So it can Netflix and chill!.
My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald.
I'm not bothered, it's hair loss!.
