Husband and Wife Love Quotes

My wife is mad at me because I couldn't tell she was wearing a new perfume.

It just doesn't make any scents!.

I went to the hospital for a stress test. They connected the machines and made me watch my wife parking my car!. And I failed the test!.

All married men say after many years of marriage:

"Our marriage is based on trust and understanding."

She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!.

There was an English language competition. 2000 persons participated...!

The competition was to write in one sentence about peace, calm & happiness.

The Award winner wrote, "My wife is sleeping."

Judges hugged him with tears streaming down their cheeks when presenting the award.

Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.

Husband: That's true, wars require strategy and logic!.

Therapist: How would you describe your relationship with your wife?

Husband: She told me to tell you, it's fine!.

Wife just called: "Three girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous."

Her Husband replied: That's probably why they received flowers!.

A wife went shopping and bought home a beautiful shirt for her husband who was impressed and asked, "How much did you pay?". She replied "It was given free with a ₹ 9000/- Saree. I liked the shirt so much, I decided to buy the saree"!.

I treated the wife to one of those 'fish pedicures' and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

Those piranhas did a great job!.

Wife: My head is hurting.

Husband: Is your face hurting? Because it's killing me!.

The symptoms of EBOLA are:

Sweating, weakness, diarrhea and stomach pain.

A kind of feeling that a husband gets when he sees his wife going through his phone!.

Very effective threat by wife in a new style:

The amount of time you'll spend on Facebook, Whatsapp and Twitter.

The equal amount of time I'll spend on Flipkart, Amazon and Snapdeal!.

Husband went offline immediately!.

Wife: What would you do if we could live forever?

Husband: Shoot myself!.

A man threw his wife in a pond full of crocodiles.

He is now facing trial in a court for being cruel to animals!

Husband to Wife: You should learn to embrace your mistakes.

She hugged him immediately!

Husband was sipping his whiskey while sitting in the balcony with the wife.

Husband: I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you.

Wife: Is that you or the whiskey talking?

Husband: It's me... talking to whiskey!.

Wife: Why don't you throw out all the useless stuff?.

Husband: I am afraid, where will you go then?.

Wife sent a message to her husband:

Don't forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office & Savita says 'Hi' to you.

Husband: Who is Savita?

Wife: Nobody, I was just making sure that you read my message!.

I call my wife the politician because she starts negative campaigning when she's losing an argument with me!.

I went to the supermarket with my wife and she called me lazy!.

I was that shocked I nearly fell out of the trolley!.