Dumb Blonde Jokes That Will Actually Make You LOL

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. 

They quickly devised a good

plan and they put their plan to action.



The brunette drove up to the front of the bank

 that they had decided to rob.

She turned to the blonde and asked her, 

"Now, do you remember what the plan is?"


The blonde sighed and replied, 

"Yeah, yeah, I remember..."


The brunette went over the plan 

once more and let the blonde out 

to do her stuff.


Before the blonde could shut the door, 

the brunette yelled out, 

"Be sure to be in 

and out in no more than 5 minutes!"


The blonde ran inside 

and the brunette waited in the car.

and waited... 

and waited...

 and waited... 

and waited.


After waiting for so long in the car, 

the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, 

the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up.


The blonde was lugging a bank 

safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A

security guard ran out of the bank, 

his pants down around his ankles and

attempting to reach his gun.


The blonde breathed heavily 

as she tried to put the safe in the car 

but finally just gave up 

and dropped the safe behind. 

She ran into the passenger

seat and pulled the door shut, 

the car already moving.


The security guard yelled, 

"Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, 

leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind.


The brunette frantically asked the blonde, 

"What the hell happened in there?!?"


The blonde was panting 

and turned to the brunette and choked out,

 "What do you mean? 

I followed the plan exactly!"


The brunette paused and yelled, 

"YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED 

TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

A policeman was interviewing three blondes 

who wanted to become detectives.


To test their skills in recognizing a suspect,

 he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds 

and then hid it. 

"This is your suspect.

 How would you recognize him?"


The first blonde answered,

 "That's easy! 

We'll catch him fast 

because he only has one eye!"

The policeman said, 

"Well...uh...

that's because the picture shows his profile."


Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, 

he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, 

"This is your suspect. 

How would you recognize him?"


The second blonde giggled, 

flipped her hair and said, 

"Ha! 

He'd be too easy to catch 

because he only has one ear!"


The policeman angrily replied, 

"What's the matter with you two? 

Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, 

because this is a picture of his profile! Is

that the best answer you can come up with?"


Extremely frustrated at this point,

 he showed the picture to the third blonde

and said, in a very testy voice, 

"This is your suspect. 

How would you recognize him?" 

He quickly added, 

"And think hard before answering, 

so you don't say something completely idiotic."


The blonde looked at the picture 

intently for a moment and said, 

"Hmmmm...

The suspect wears contact lenses."


The policeman was stunned speechless, 

because he honestly didn't know whether

the suspect wore contacts or not.


"Well, that's an interesting answer...

Wait here for a few minutes 

while I check his file, 

and I'll get back to you on that." 

He left the room 

and went to his office, 

checked the suspect's file in his computer, 

and came back beaming. 

"Wow!" he said, "

I can't believe it...It's TRUE! 

The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. 

Good work! 

But how were you able to make such an astute observation?"


"That's easy," the blonde replied. 

"He can't wear regular glasses, 

because he only has one eye and one ear."