Funniest Captions For Instagram Post

I read the twilight books

Need an ark? I Noah a guy.

A selfie a day keeps mental breakdowns away.

Yes, I run – I run out of patience, time and money. #MyLife

Trying to be happy without giving to others is like trying to kiss alone.

The best way to lie is, to tell the truth…the carefully edited truth.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.

Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave because of your butt

I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.

I only need 3 things in life: Food 🍜, Wifi 🌐, Sleep 😪 :)

In a totally sane society, madness is the only freedom.

There’s no “we” on fries.

I’m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

I tried to be normal once — worst two minutes of my life.

A joke’s a very serious thing.

My goal this weekend is to move. . . Just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)

I will eat just one, I swear