Friend: In which field, does your husband work?
Wife: Oil & Gas.
Friend: Wow... where is he based?
Wife: Kitchen!.
Q: What do you call a laughing piano?
A: Yamahahaha!.
Q: If you see a robbery at an Apple Store what does that make you?
A: An iWitness!
Q: Why did the joke about the roof get no laughs?
A: It went over their heads!.
Q: What did the hat say to the scarf?
A: You hang around while I go on ahead!.
Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Answer: Only if you aim it well enough.
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
.
It was a brief case!.
Man: I want a divorce because my wife hasn't spoken to me for past six months.
Judge: You better think over it. Wives like that are hard to get!.
Ramu: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Raju: When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Q: What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea?.
A: Denis!.
Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?
A: Mer-Maid!.
Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a moth.
Doctor: It's not a doctor you need, it's a psychiatrist.
Patient: I was on my way there when I saw your light on!.
Q: Why was the Maths book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems!.
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service?
Candidate: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault!.
Man1: What's the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Man2: Well, the flag is a big plus!.
Q: How did the man who kept shaving every day still grow a beautiful beard?
A: He was a barber.
Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
Government Officer Interview:
Interviewer: Do you have any particular skills?`
Candidate: I can turn a simple 20 minute task into a strenuous 2 hour task!.
Q: Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?
A: Tequila!.
I got myself a new job in the telescope factory.
Things are really looking up!.
