Funny Bar Jokes Signs To Attract More Business

It's time to replace your heart with another liver 

so that you can drink more and care less!

Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter.

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It doesn't do anything I just like butter!

Beer makes you wiser.

Even Akbar's wisest adviser was Beerbal!

Drinking Alcohol is great for my health.

It takes me three times as long to walk home from the pub!.

WhatsApp status of a drunk person...

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Can't talk, Alcohol you later!

If by bar-hopping you mean 'going to the garage fridge for a beer when you've run out inside' then yes, I still go bar-hopping!.

Success seems quite near with a chilled beer!.

Don't drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault!.

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

Life is good, have a beer!.

Life sucks have a beer!.

Beer is the 'sensible shoes' of the adult beverage world!.

Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine,

apparently it's getting difficult to sell sober people a $12 cup of coffee!

Everyone has their own path, fortunately, mine leads to the liquor store!.

It's funny when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun.

You don't even need running shoes to run, but it helps!

Jeeto: Where on earth did you read that scotch has health benefits?

Santa: Whiskeypedia!.

Alcohol doesn't make you a different person.

It just amplifies who you really are.

Girl: You are such a good dancer, so natural, so cool. Who taught you?

Pappu: Jack

Girl: Jack who?

Pappu: Jack Daniels!

When it comes to bonding,

 'Fevicol' loses by a big margin to.

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'Alcohol'!

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.

Better to be safe than sober!.

A man was sipping his whisky, 

while sitting on the balcony with his wife 

and he says, "I love you so much, 

I don't know how I could ever live without you."

The wife asks, "Is that you, or the whisky talking?"

He replies, "It's me..... 

talking to the whisky...

You can't make everybody happy.

You must understand, you're human and not beer!.