Mark Twain Quotes on Life, Travel, Politics, Education, Truth and Love

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

Plan for the future because that's where you are going to spend the rest of your life.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

But when the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.