Best Ambrose Bierce Quotes That Are Full Of Satirical Wit

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Famous: Conspicuously miserable.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

Age: That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Bigamy: A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Achievement is the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.