Here’s What I Want My Students to Know When We’re Not Together…

Height of Good Luck

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,

Teacher: Hey you, Stand up And tell Me 2 pronouns

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Student: Who, Me?

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Teacher: Very Good Sit-down

Poor students always find problems and look for excuses. 

Good students like you always find solutions and move ahead.

Open your books, 

Switch off your mobile phones &

Start studying...

The above stunts are 

performed by highly trained professionals...

Please don't try this at home...!!

Teacher: Why were you late?

Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!

Teacher: What do you learn at school?

Student: School has taught me how to look extremely busy while doing nothing at all!

There are two Types of students. 

One, who cry and complain about how difficult, 

tough and demanding their coursework is. Second, 

who take pride in being able to study 

and clear a difficult, tough and demanding coursework. 

You are definitely the Second Type. Congratulations.

Teacher: How will you get 50 engineers in one room?

Student: Just tell them there are beautiful girls in the room!

The best students are not those who are the most intelligent. 

They are the ones who take advantage of their talents 

and work hard to surge ahead of all their classmates just like you.

Teacher: This is the fifth time this week that I have had to punish you. What do you have to say?

Student: Thank God, Saturday and Sunday are holidays, Sir!

Nothing can be as fake as Indian teachers... 

when the principal enters the classroom!

Teacher: 24 + x + 30 = 90

Find X

Student: It's between 24 and 30!.

टीचर: बच्चो, ऐसा वाक्य बनाओ जिस में उर्दू, हिंदी, पंजाबी और इंग्लिश का प्रयोग हुआ हो!

छोटू: मैडम, इश्क दी गली विच नो एंट्री

Truth of School Life:

First bench doing job and last bench doing business.

A first bench student knows the answer of every problem;

But a last bench student knows how to face every problem!

Students These Days:

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: Why does it matter. You still get paid!.

A genius is a person who can do wth $1

what a fool does wth $100. 

Just as we complete our syllabus in 3 daysandour teachrs try in 6 months.

Teacher: Name a bird with wings but can't fly?

Student: A dead bird, Sir!.

Teacher - Can you please tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :

“Smo-king & Drin-king ” !!!

Teacher Resigned !

Professor: Define alcohol.

Student: Alcohol is a liquid which is good for preserving almost everything except secrets!.

A engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop... 

He went to him & said... 

"Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"

So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums...! 

The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... 

"Try the same when the engine is running."

Classic!.... Continuation

Engineer's Revenge

The engineer smiled back came close to doctor's ear and said 

I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . But can you ???

Not only Classic but Epic !

I don't hate school.

I just hate the teachers, the homework, 

the exams and waking up early in the morning!.