Banta: Why are you so happy?
Santa: You know I started dieting and now I have removed all the bad food from my home.
Banta: Really?
Santa: I know it's difficult but it was delicious!.
Banta: Why is it called 'Gross' salary?.
Santa: You should see my salary to know why they call it 'Gross' salary!.
Santa: Why are you so sad?
Banta: I bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today.
Santa: So?
Banta: I sprayed it all over myself, I still can't fly!.
Banta: Why don't Aggarwals play Hockey or Football?.
Santa: Because the moment they get a 'Corner', they open a 'Sweet Shop'!.
Santa: Why are you so tense?
Banta: I am gaining a lot of weight.
Santa: If you are afraid of gaining weight, take 90 ml of whiskey before every meal.
Banta: Will it help in reducing weight?
Santa: No... this would reduce fear!.
Santa: They say drink responsibly... but responsibility is the reason why I drink!.
Police pulled Santa's car:
Officer: Do you know driving at 100 kmph is illegal?
Santa: Yes.
Officer: Then why didn't you stop when I was following you?
Santa: I thought you wanted to race!.
Banta: Why don't politicians like Golf?
Santa: Because it's too much like their work: trapped in one bad lie after another!.
Banta: How did you fail your stress test?
Santa: They connected the machines and made me watch my wife parking my car!. And I failed the test!
Santa: How many letters are there in English alphabets?
Banta: 23 without GST, 26 with GST!.
Santa: Where do your girlfriend live?
Banta: In other nation.
Santa: Which nation?
Banta: In my 'Imagination'!.
Banta: My wife isn't talking to me since 2 days, what to do?
Santa: Just enjoy!
Jeeto: Your breakfast is ready.
Santa: I'm getting late for office. Won't eat breakfast.
Jeeto: Oh... But I have used wine in Paranthas today.
Santa gladly gobbles up 4 Paranthas smilingly remarks, 'Wow, yummy, which wine you used?'
Jeeto: Ajwine!.
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
Police Officer: Vehicle documents are okay... insurance documents are okay... but fine of ₹ 2000/-
Santa: But why?.
Police Officer: Because all the documents were safely kept in plastic bag and plastic is banned!.
Banta: Media saluted Mumbai's spirit but ignored Bihar's floods.
Santa: Probably because Bihar has banned all types of spirits!
Banta: Why are you so sad?
Santa: Sadly, I got sacked from my job at the bank today.
Banta: Oh no! But why?
Santa: An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over!
Santa: Do you know why girls love to go Goa?.
Banta: Why?.
Santa: Because they love beaching around!.
Doctor: I do not understand the reason for your illness. It may be due to the intake of too much alcohol.
Santa: Nevermind, doctor. I will come again for a check-up when you are sober..!
Banta: Can you define Mother-in-Law?
Santa: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind
by giving him a piece of hers!.
