Santa: Can I open a joint account?
Banker: Yes sure, but with who?
Santa: Anyone rich!.
Police Officer: You'll be fined as your dogs were chasing people on bikes!
Santa: How is it possible? My dogs don't even own bikes!
Santa: Do you know there is a new workout, which is done by many?
Banta: Really? What is it?
Santa: The new favorite workout of many is taking selfies in Gym for social media!.
Banta: What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?
Santa: Retired!
Banta: Why is your arm in a sling?.
Santa: Oh nothing much. Took an Indigo yesterday, just an airline fracture!.
Banta: How do you manage to stay cool all the time?
Santa: Because I don't get into arguments with stupid people, I just cut it short and say, 'You are right'!
Banta: That's completely irrational and wrong.
Santa: You are right!
Santa: Have you heard about Murphy's Law?
Banta: Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Santa: How about Cole's Law?
Banta: No.
Santa: It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing!.
Banta: What should you give a man who has everything?
Santa: A woman to show him how to work it!.
Banta: Why most of the archeologists are females?
Santa: Because they love digging up the best!.
Santa: I made a joke on a doctor's prescription.
Banta: Show me.
Santa: You can't read it!
Santa: Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?
Pappu: Haha you cannot fool me again, a chair!
Santa: Not this time. Our dog died!.
Banta: Why does your nose grow in the middle of your face?.
Santa: Because it's the scenter!.
Banta: They say time is a great healer.
Santa: That's probably why when you go to the doctors' surgery they keep you waiting so long!.
Santa: Do you know what lawyers wear to court?
Banta: What?
Santa: Law suits!.
Santa: I'm starting to suspect that my wife is getting sick of my bullshit.
Banta: Why do you think so?
Santa: Because she says it to me all the time!
Santa had 3 trays in his office for files:
IN, OUT & LBW.
Someone asked, "What is this LBW for?"
Santa: Let this Bloody Wait!.
Interviewer: It says on your resume that you went to Harvard University.
Santa: Yes, I was visiting my friend!.
Banta: Why did you join social media?
Santa: I wanted to disappoint more than one person at a time!.
Jeeto: You are useless.
Pappu: Dad, am I useless?
Santa: No, you are not useless. I can still use you as an example of Useless!.
Banta: Your skin looks so clear, what's the secret?.
Santa: Nothing bro, just take a picture on Snapchat and swipe to the left, skin go from burnt Roti to smooth Rasgulla real quick!.