Funny Bollywood SMS Joke

Bajirao Mastaani Dekh Kar Girlfriend Ne Pucha,

"Tumhari Koi Mastaani Toh Nahi Hai Na?"

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Ab Usko Kaun Samjhaye Ki Wahi Mastaani Hai... 

Kaashi Toh Koi Aur Hai!

Shareefon Ka Zamane Main Maine

Haal Jo Dekha Ke

Sharafat Shod Di Maine

Waffa Pe Mitne Walon Ka

Maine Anjaam Jo Dekha Ke

Waffa Hi Shod Di Maine

Garmiye hasrat ke nakam se jalte hai

hum chiragon ki tarah shaam se jalte hai…

jab aata hai tera naam mere naam ke saath..

naa jano kyon log hamare naam se jalte hai

From Hum Aapke Hai Kaun:-

Kaate Nahin Kat Te Lamhe Intezaar Ke,

Nazaren Bichaein Baithe Hain Raste Pe Yaar Ke,

Dil Ne Kaha Dekhe Jo Jalwe Husne Yaar Ke,

Laya Hain Unhe Kaun Falak Se Utaar Ke…

Aap Ke Liye Ek Film Mein, Chhota Sa Role Hai.

Heroin Aap Ko Guffa Mein Le Jayegi Aur Goli Maar Degi.

Film Hai

“Guffa Mein Gaandu Ki Mout“

Gabbar: Aaj Maine Basanti Ko Nahate Hue Dekha

Veeru: Kutte Kamine... Main Tera Khoon Pee Jaunga

Gabbar: Relax Bevde... Main Naha Raha Tha... 

Basanti Jaa Rahi Thi! Jab Dekho Tab Khoon Pee Jaunga Nonsense!

Kisi ke pas salman khan ka 

number ho to plz send karo…

Juhu bus stop par ek bacchi mili hai..

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Use ghar pahochana hai..!!

Pyar vyar toh ek bahana hai, 

dil mile na mile lips ko milana hai, 

yeh style hai sab Ashiko ka,

kya kare yaar yeh Dilip Kumar ka nahi 

Imran Hasmi ka Zamana hai...

Na tere aane ki aas hai,

na tujhe pane ki pyaas hai.

phir bhi is “shareef” ka dil,

tere bina udaas hai.

Ranbir Kapoor: Jab Se Salman Bhai 

Ki Girlfriend Apni Girlfriend Banayai Hai, S

aala Career Ki Watt Lag Gayi Hai! 

Abhishek Bachchan: Tumne To Sirf Girlfriend Banayi Hai 

Soch Maine To Shaadi Ki Hai!

Hm teri mohabbat 

k aelaaan krte hai

tum hmpe mrte 

ho hm tumpe mrte hai...

Police officer: Aaj Mai pakka kisi ko pakad ke saja dunga.

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Aliya bhatt : Mujhe saja do jaldi . Party me jana hai.

Akshay's new movie that's about to release - Toilet.

How would you ask your friends out for the movie?

Chalo Toilet Chalte Hain.

And Whatsapp status updates?

At toilet with GF and two other friends!.

Ankit Tiwari As Teacher

AT: Ravi, Tu Hai Ke Nahi?

Ravi: Present Sir!

AT: Kiran, Tu Hai Ke Nahi?

Kiran: Present Sir

Naming his next movie ZERO is a smart move by Shah Rukh Khan.

He'll get free publicity throughout the year by petrol pump attendants who'll say 'Sir ZERO Dekhna'!

Pooja Bhatt : Itni Saj Dhaj ke kyun Baithi ho ???

Alia Bhatt: Koi anne waala hai !

Pooja Bhatt: Kaun ???

Alia Bhatt : Achhe Din.

Buys a movie ticket for Padmaavat:

Friend: Bhai Kiske Saath Movie Dekhne Ja Rahe Ho?

Me: Himmat Ke Saath!

Shahrukh Khan called on customer care:

Shahrukh Khan: Hello, Mera Net Nahi Chal Raha.

Executive: Aapki Toh Movies Bhi Nahi Chal Rahi, Sir!.

Raftaar Me Thi Dono Ki Journey Fasa

Gayi, Jaisi Thi Karni Waisi Hi

Bharni Fasa Gayi, Salman Ko

Dekha To Asharam Ne Kaha, Tujhko

Yaha Hiran Mujhe Hirnii Fasa Gayi.

Yeh Bundle Filmon Ka Bahut Fayda Hai.

Theatre Mein Aap So Bhi Jao Toh Aap Ko Koi Disturb Nahi Karta!

Akshay- Hi everyone !!

Shahid- Hi over acting ki dukaan...

Akshay-

Saif-

Kareena- 

Hi Saifu... Love you

Shahid lefts the group

Bipasha- 

haha.. 

bechara.. 

how r u friends ?

John- hey m fine 

miss u .. how's u ?

Bipasha lefts the group

Akshay- Arre yaar bahut boring ho raha hai

Ajay- Kyun ? 

Tees maar khan dekhi kya ?

Akshay- Nahi... 

Teri Himmatwala dekhi

Ajay was removed from group

Ashwariya- Nice to meet u all.. 

Thanks for adding in this group

Salman- Miss toh humne bhi 

bahot kiya aapko

Ashwariya- Hi.. who are u ?

Salman: Akshay- kya Sallu bhai.. 

bahot emotional ho rahe ho

Ashwariya lefts the group

Salman-

Vivek- koun hai Tu ? Kyun ro raha hai ?

Salman- mujh par ek ehsaan karna 

ke mujh par koi ehsaan mat karna

Vivek lefts group

Amitabh- hahaha... arre Akki hamare zamane 

ke actors hai ki nahi is group mein ?

Akshay- Haan hai na... Rekha ji hai

Amitabh lefts the group

Chunky- Bas karo yaar.. 

sab group Kyun chodd rahe hai ?

Saif- chunky ko kaun add kiya ?

Chunky-

Salman-

Govinda- Aap sabko Govinda ka namaskar

Shakti Kapoor- Aau mere Raja babu.. 

aapko bhi namaskar

Shakti Kapoor was removed from group

Shahrukh- Kyun nikala usko group se?

Akshay- Sorry.. galti se add huva... Vulgar members not allowed

Salman- Shahrukh ko Kyun add kiya ?

Shahrukh- Tera kya ja raha hai ?

Salman- sahi se reh nahi toh maar khayega

Shahrukh- Jyada natak mat kar 

Akki- Ladai bandh karo varna 

dono ko group se bahar nikal dunga

Suniel- Akki bhai Hera 

Pheri 3 ki shooting Kab shuru hogi ?

Akki- Tuje liya hai kya film mein

Suniel-

Hrithik- Hi Anna... 

Aaj Kal filmon mein d

ikhai nahi dete...

Suniel- jabse Krissh dekhi hai 

filmon mein kaam karne 

ka mann nahi karta

Madhuri- Hello Friends.. 

Meri Gulabi Gang film aa rahi hai.. 

zarur dekna.

Juhi- yes friends zarur dekna.. 

main bhi hun.

Alia bhatt- Ha ha ..

 koi nahi dekega.

Raveena- Akki ...

 bachchiyon ko kyun a

dd kiya group mein?

Sunny leone- only adults allowed

Saif- oye Sunny Leone bhi hai kya ?

Kareena lefts the group

Sunny Leone was removed from group

Sunny deol added in group

Akki- Hi Dhai kilo wale haath.

Sunny Deol- Action hero se mazak?

Suniel- main hun action hero.

Akki- main hun

Salman- Action ka dusra 

naam Salman khan.

John- I am Action hero.

Rajnikant- Munna.. 

jhund mein toh suvar aate hai... 

sher akela aata hai.

John- Kaun Tu ?

Rajnikant- Yenna raskala... 

mind it

Sunny- Kaun hai yeh Akki ?? 

Bata na.

Akki- Rajnikant sir.

Sunny deol lefts the group

Hrithik lefts the group

John lefts the group

Saif lefts the group

Salman lefts the group 

Shahrukh lefts the group