Funny Bar Jokes Signs To Attract More Business

Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine,

apparently it's getting difficult to sell sober people a $12 cup of coffee!

Everyone has their own path, fortunately, mine leads to the liquor store!.

It's funny when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun.

You don't even need running shoes to run, but it helps!

Jeeto: Where on earth did you read that scotch has health benefits?

Santa: Whiskeypedia!.

Alcohol doesn't make you a different person.

It just amplifies who you really are.

Girl: You are such a good dancer, so natural, so cool. Who taught you?

Pappu: Jack

Girl: Jack who?

Pappu: Jack Daniels!

When it comes to bonding,

 'Fevicol' loses by a big margin to.

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'Alcohol'!

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.

Better to be safe than sober!.

A man was sipping his whisky, 

while sitting on the balcony with his wife 

and he says, "I love you so much, 

I don't know how I could ever live without you."

The wife asks, "Is that you, or the whisky talking?"

He replies, "It's me..... 

talking to the whisky...

You can't make everybody happy.

You must understand, you're human and not beer!.

3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so

he started the engine & turned it off again.

He told them.... 

"We have reached".

The 1st guy gave him money &

the 2nd guy said "thank you".

The 3rd guy gave driver a slap.

The driver was shocked,

thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.

he asked "whats that for?".

The 3rd guy replied:

"CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME..?

After using all of the social networking apps I've realized that alcohol is still the best way to connect with friends!.

A SMS sent by a Man 2 his wife: '

Hi Honey, I am just having my last beer, 

& I will be home in 30 minutes.

If I am not,

 please read this SMS again!'

Carrots may be good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision!.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar 

and orders a martini.

The bartender asks, Olive or twist?

There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same!.

I have got a drinking problem.

I've got two hands, 

but only one mouth...

When alcohol doesn't count:

1. When it's sunny.

2. Your birthday.

3. Friday nights.

4. All weekend.

5. If you're already drunk.

Man to Doctor: Every night my wife goes to a pub

and sleeps with anyone 

who proposes to her!

Dr.: Relax, take a deep breath, 

calm down & now tell me....

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WHICH PUB?

Starkle starkle little twink

who the hell you are I think

I'm not under what you call

the alcofluence of incohol

I'm just a little slort of sheep

I'm not drunk like tinkle peep

I don't know who is me yet

but the drunker I stand here

the longer I get

Just give me one more drink

to fill me cup

'cuz I got all day sober

to Sunday up.