My home has an open door policy.
You bring beer and I open the door!
Surround yourself with people who have issues.
Because people who have issues always have alcohol!
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch!.
I wish I can replace my heart with another liver so I can drink more and care less!.
If you don't make enough money to go on vacation, just get drunk this weekend until you don't know where you are!. Have a Nice Weekend!
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined.
I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form!
I do not trust camels and anyone who can go a week without a drink!.
A dance floor is one place everyone is conscious except for the drunkards!
Vodka is scary. It looks like water, but transforms you into an emotional mess with no filter!
I can't really walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need me to drink the drink them I am all yours!.
Me: You're amazing. You always give me what I need and even though you make me pay for it, I love you.
Bartender: That'll be $13.75.
Girl: Me or alcohol?
Alcohol: Choose her, I know you will come back to me later!.
Q: What do you call an alcoholic Vampire?
A: Drunkcula!
What did I learn today?.
You'll never drown your sorrows drinking light beer!.
Among the extremist groups trying to recruit members to their cause like Al-Qaida, Al-Nusrah, Al-Badr etc.
I believe the most successful one is Al-cohol.
Many of my friends including myself have already fallen victim to it.
Cheers!
The hangover only lasts a day but the memories last a lifetime!
If you want to learn about the character of a person, invite him to drinks and have at least 3 different valued liquors. If he selects the costliest and then drinks like fish, you have your answer.
The best way to break the ice is to pour whisky over it!.
I've never pretended to be something I'm not.
Except sober.
I've pretended to be sober before!.
Once In A Bar, One Guy Said To Another
"I Slept With Your Mom Last Night."
After That Whole Bar Was Waiting
For Another Guy's Response. After
A While... He Laughs And Says:
Let's Go Home, Dad, You Are Drunk.
